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NO

for Rachel Owen

Rach traveled to my parents’ home,
Chandler, Arizona,
one month after my stroke,
on my birthday, I am 32.
It’s autumn and hot.

She redeployed home.
She was afraid that
her dear friend, me,
had changed,
no longer the same.
She was worried.

I open the door to greet,
my dearest friend.

Embrace.
Lock eyes.

Nearly speechless.
I have just a few words:
”Camel.” “Hi.” “No.”
Maybe “Yes.”

Rach doesn’t worry
ever.
But today she is worried.

It’s getting dark.

I want to go to the park.
I am determined to go to the park.
But how do I say it?

I can’t say
park

I can’t say
Frisbee

”No,” is my park.

”No,” is my Frisbee.

”No,” is my go:

I march to the park.

Rach smiles.

Still here.
My friend,
still here.

Rach understands my no.

—
Farzana Marie is a poet, writer, translator, artist, and dancer. She received her Ph.D. from the University of Arizona, with a focus on Persian Literature and a minor in Creative Writing. She also has an M.A. in English from the University of Massachusetts Boston and a B.S. in Humanities from the U.S. Air Force Academy. Her poetry and translations have appeared in numerous print and online journals.

Presently, Farzana is in the planning phase of an immersive multi-sensory project called The Soul of Language Museum, to be located in New Mexico. She is also writing her memoir.

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